We, the Senate and Faculty of Robert Gordon's Hospital (1) (but definitely not Mrs Forbes, Prof Kennedy or Councillor Ford), do, in the hope that you will shower us with millions of your beneficent and most deserved spondulicks (2), endow you with the degree of Doctor of Planning Laws (And How to Get Around Them) and, not being one of those heathen southern universities, will not disturb thy exalted wigginess by bopping you on the bonce with a pair of Knox's shabby chinos.
1. Well, yes, but we are a university now.
2. Or, if you can't quite manage that, a corporate membership at the Club would be quite nice.
or, something like that.
Edited to add: and, yes, they have indeed done a pig-Latin version.