What? You don't think there is anything wrong with that? Ah, yes. That's the tidied up 07:37 version. I woke up with the 06:13 version:
Flooding hits northern England after torrential rain
Same shit beneath it - and I am sorry for the people affected - but apart from one warning for a village in Aberdeenshire, there is nothing north of the Borders.
Flood warnings across northern UK after torrential rain
Now I appreciate that when metrosexual nancy journowankers dare to skirt the very edges of howling barbarism by taking a trip round the M25, they will see a sign that quite famously says
But it doesn't mean you are there yet. Darwen - the northern UK as far as that prat is concerned - is a bit south of Preston. I've got customers there and it's nearly a 200 mile drive, mostly south. And I don't live in the north. I live in the Central Belt. It's another 150 miles from me to Inverness and a further hundred or so to Thurso. Then you've still got the rump Vikings in the northern Isles.