Clegg Scuppers Bid for Democrat Nomination

In a move that probably won't surprise Lib-Dim supporters used to their leaders doing everything they can to prevent the party gaining even the faintest sniff of power, newly anointed poster child and amateur cat herder, Nick Clegg, scuppered his chances of the Democratic Party nomination as US Presidential candidate by admitting his atheism:

"I have enormous respect for people who have religious faith, I'm married to a Catholic and am committed to bringing my children up as Catholics.

"However, I myself am not an active believer, but the last thing I would do when talking or thinking about religion is approach it with a closed heart or a closed mind."

ProGoditarian party hopeless and mind-numbingly dull author Jeffery Archer impersonator, Bloke Hickathingy called for Clegg's immediate lynching as a "disgrace to lying poliscoundrels everywhere" later adding that, if this sort of honesty caught on, he would have to hire more professional liars PR people. Well known extreme cultist and low flying Clinton wannabee, Twit Dimley added, "There shall be no religious test for elected politicians. Ain't it peachy the Founding Fathers never heard of my lot. I thank Smith that this atheist scum Plugg will never be elected to any office of insignificance."

Current President, His Imperial Chimpness W the Junior, refused to comment but a spokesman later informed this channel "It's not his fault. Dick's a Republican. He knows you should light cigars. No interns were harmed in the making of this mistake."

Highly successful caretaker leader, Vince Forgotten-His-Name Already, criticised his new leader for using a single word answer to any question.

A survey for this channel discovered that 93% of British Archbishops really, really didn't care and were getting back to putting the Christmas cards up as soon as we got off the phone.