Thursday, December 20, 2007

A Blast from My Past

Helping Mrs S-E clear up our shared office space, I came across this little ditty from my ancient (so ancient it has been run off on a Gestetner machine - remember them?) past:

In the beginning was the Plan. And with the Plan, at the start of all, were the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form and the Plan was completely without substance.

And the darkness was on the face of the workers and they spoke unto the Heads of their Departments saying "It is a crock of shit and it sinketh unto the very heavens!"

And the Heads of Department went unto the Area Manager and sayeth thus: "It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odour thereof."

And the Area Manager went unto the Divisional Director and sayeth unto him "It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, so strong such that that none here may abide by it."

And the Divisional Director went unto the Employee Relations Manager and said unto her, "The voices of the workers have spoken and they say that the Plan is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength."

And the Employee Relations Manager went most speedily unto the Human Resources Director and sayeth, "It contains that which aideth plant growth and it is mightily strong."

And the Human Resources Director crept on his belly to the Managing Director, for such is the way of the servants of HR, and said thusly: "It promoteth growth and it is very powerful."

And the Managing Director did meet with the Board, upon the very heights of heaven, and the minutes were engraven on tablets of the whitest marble and the record did show that he spake thusly: "This powerful new Plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of the division and of this area in particular."

And the Board did gaze upon the vastness of the Plan and ignoreth all of the Assumptions. And they believed that the Plan was good and so the Plan became Policy.

And the stench became most mighty and the Assumptions were thrown down. Yet the workers laboured still in the reek, complaining bitterly.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Excellent, it's the funniest posting i've read this week.

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