Tuesday, August 07, 2007

An Irritation of Idiots

Yesterday Sorry, on Saturday, Katy asked:
There just seem to be a lot of stupid, parasitic, pointless, dense, unpleasant people around. Is this a new thing, or have they always been around and did I just not realise?
Thanks to KitchenWitch, we know that the appropriate collective noun for this form of the dross of humanity is "an irritation".

I should have seen the discussion as the omen it truly was. Mrs S-E had got us tickets to see the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, to see, amongst the others, some friends of hers who are in the Middlesex County Volunteers.

Unfortunately, an irritation of idiots (simpler than "SPPDU people", and somewhat more evocative) had arrived on a coach from Epsom (except one, who had apparently extremely irritated an Edinburgh taxi driver and had been taken by them to a police station) and sat behind us. And proceeded to whitter, endlessly, throughout the entire prelude to the performance (mildly irritating but hey) and then the cunts continued, in exactly the same fuckwitted way, for the entire sodding hour and three-quarters of the actual performance, including during the sunset hymn and last post. About the only time they were not gibbering in our ears was during the brief respite when they were failing miserably to sing the national anthem.

Their utter lack of knowledge of matters military or ceremonial, coupled with their complete inability to read the programme, made this all the less entertaining. To give you some idea of how pointless, mindnumbing and otherwise distracting this all was, their key topic of conversation during the performance of the Band of the Blues and Royals was whether the horses would crap on the Esplanade ('though, of course, being from Surrey, they were pointlessly irritating rather than crudely succinct). (Ed's note: Just in case anyone is interested, one did, but the irritation were already too busy discussing some other triviatics to spot this or the clean-up crew from what appeared to be the Tayforth OTC.)

Thanks a whole fucking bunch, you utter irritation of pointless scumbags.

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